I am wanting to write less and less on this blog.
Not for lack of feelings for B - I wish.
But because idk, I guess I’m coming to terms with this. Whatever this is.
He’s my friend who I love, yes I love him. I love that he’s there for me when I need him. I love that he never sugar coats anything, I love that he can always make me smile, I love that he is such a passionate person, even though he’s genuinley lazy >.< I love that his hair is always messy, I love that he always wears a tight shirt when I go visit him :P lol I love him, his persona, his attitude, his point of views, his laughter, his seriousness, his sarcasm, his everything.
But no, I am not in love with him.
I’ve never been in love, so I can’t compare it, but this is not love. I refuse to believe that love is a one way street. My words are all jumbled up and I’m not making sense.
Point is that I can live with my feelings for him. I’m done dwelling on what should or could be.
I guess I’m getting used to this feeling. As couples get used to each other, I’m getting used to him, or lack of him, or better said, lack of who I want him to be. Having these feelings have become a part of me, and a part of who I am when I’m with him. The feelings are not strange, nor do I want them to go away. They’re just there.
I don’t know how else to explain it. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, I like him, the end. Nothing is going to happen between us, but I’ll always be there for him.